Top 6 Authors I Kinda Sorta Hate…

Was this clickbait? Eh, kind of yes. BUT SERIOUSLY. These are authors that just exist to torture us all with books that

  1. kill off animals
  2. make us cry
  3. have a cliffhanger that just UGH
  4. make us rage
  5. sink your ship
  6. make us want to throw something
  7. kill/hurt/harm/put characters through an emotional wringer
  8. or a combination of the above.

I JUST CAN’T. The emotions. The feels. The trauma.

The books that are so good you get mad and angry after reading because HOW COULD THE AUTHOR DO THAT? I feel honestly so betrayed at how they put characters through so much I just want to bundle everyone up in bubble wrap and keep them safe, okay?

It’s a good kind of betrayal, but still one that makes me want to throw something. I need a stress ball when I read these authors’ books, so if you’re looking for books that really pack on the emotional feels, I definitely recommend you check these out.

please don’t ban me from reading your books this is all said out of love and is 99% sarcasm and 1% angsty feels I love all of your books but also want to throw something really really hard

6. Scott Reintgen

Eh meh meh meh? I have no words?

HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO US THE CLIFFHANGER AT THE END OF BOOK 2 WHY DO I HAVE TO WAIT A WHOLE YEAR HOW WHY WHO WHAAAA

Scott Reintgen is the scum of the Earth because the cliffhangers he bestows on us at the end of Nyxia Unleashed is just–*deep breath* grrrrrrrr. And the twists! And the turns! Why do you keep me at the edge of my seat? I just want to sit in my chair normally *sobs uncontrollably*

Nyxia Unleashed was just too good that I can’t help but despise Scott Reintgen with every fiber of my being for not writing books at the speed of light? Because the year-long wait is obviously ridiculous and only for authors to TORTURE ALL THEIR READERS.

5. G.S. Prendergast

Who in their right mind decides to write a book that is so good, so wonderful, so deliciously action-packed and THEN LEAVE IT ON THAT TYPE OF CLIFFHANGER?

Zero Repeat Forever is one of the best books I read, but I wholeheartedly do not recommend it because then you’ll end up crying alongside me with a box of tissues and three tubs of ice cream after reading the ending and being left on a cliffhanger like that.

And you know what makes it just so terrible? The fact that Goodreads doesn’t even have an Untitled book logged in as a sequel. I just–*cries like a wounded deer* WHAT HAVE THE LIBRARIANS BEEN DOING it says book 1 is part of a series but is it really? IS IT REALLY?

So no. Do not read Zero Repeat Forever because you will end up like me sobbing uncontrollably at the thought of how the book is so wonderful and makes you want more but YOU CAN’T HAVE IT.

4. Mindy McGinnis

Ms. McGinnis, I really dislike you.

Why is everything you write so fantastic? Why must I perpetually be sucked into your books that I just ignore everything around me?

I want to function like a normal human being, not be endlessly tortured by moral questions. STOP MAKING YOUR BOOKS PLAGUE MY MIND. I do not want to think. I want to be a mindless drone for eternity and not think about the wonderful, thought-provoking questions that are part of your novels.

Please, let me live in peace, Ms. McGinnis. Sincerely,

Frustrated in Florida

3. Emily Suvada

Oh Emily, Emily, Emily. Let’s have a chat, shall we?

*screams like a banshee* WHAT JUST HAPPENED? I am still shook after the billions of twists in This Mortal Coil, and find it rather unfortunate that I am still plagued by thoughts of the story so many months after reading.

It had been a while since I read a dystopian novel, and I was really enjoying being a bitter melon and hating the genre and its unfortunate love triangles, but YOU JUST HAD TO MESS UP MY BITTER PITY PARTY DIDN’T YOU?

Why couldn’t you let me despise dystopians in peace? Why did you decide to write a good dystopian novel with fantastic actions scenes and swoony romance and awesomely gruesome exploding people?

And on top of that, making me love the genre (or, well, that one book in the genre) and then laughing in my face as I wait a year for book 2? Yeah, who thought that was a good idea? Everyone knows the year-long waits in publishing are obviously so the author can have time to laugh maniacally at their readers’ suffering.

Please take your laughter and shove it in a locked down facility with multiple airlocks where exploding people can’t get in, because I am one of said exploding people who shall explode if time doesn’t magically warp and let October come sooner.

2. Leigh Bardugo

I’ve managed to come to terms with what happens at the end of Crooked Kingdom, but it still doesn’t mean I’m happy about it or still not distraught.

Actually, no, scratch that. WHY LEIGH WHY?

Who cares about making a realistic plot when we could just make all the characters live happily ever after? Why did you have to go and crush not one, not two, but thousands of hearts globally for the sake of a good story?

Who cares about good stories when you can have all your characters kept safe and protected and only doing fluffy things for the rest of their lives? Scratch that, who even cares about plots in books anymore because I JUST WANT ALL THE PRECIOUS ONES TO LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER AND EAT WAFFLES TOGETHER IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?

The decision to make your readers actually feel something was the WORST IDEA EVER. Ugh, feelings. Please, I beg you. Hire a fluffy fanfiction writer to make Six of Crows #3 just everyone happy and resurrected and eating waffles together, and let me live my life in peace and not with the death of [redacted] sitting heavily on my heart. Thank you.

1. Megan Bannen

Can you feel my unamused expression boring a hole in your face? Because it’s there. And my face is not happy. I DIDN’T WANT TO CRY.

WHY DID YOU MAKE ME CRY?

Sobbing uncontrollably was not on my to do list when I read The Bird and the Blade, so why did anyone think it was a good idea for that disastrous flood to happen? It’s like a lake flooded my house. Or when Alice took the grow potion and then cried an ocean.

There were so many things you could have done. You could have been a subpar writer and made me have no attachment to the characters, but nooooo. You just had to write precious smol bean characters that I want to take with me everywhere.

You could have been a less creative writer and not chosen Turandot as the basis for your novel, but nooooo. You had to just be wonderful and creative and innovative and pick the most HEARTWRENCHING OPERA IN HISTORY.

You could have–we’re not even going to go there because you GET THE IDEA. When the news of an entire town in Florida having a freak flood accident, you’ll know what the cause is.

much love, vicky

I hope everyone catches on that these letters are satirical and not actually true I DON’T HATE ANY OF THESE AUTHORS THEY ARE WONDERFUL AND YOU SHOULD READ ALL THEIR BOOKS. PLEASE READ THEIR BOOKS SO YOU CAN SUFFER FROM FEELING TOO MUCH LIKE I DO.

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19 thoughts on “Top 6 Authors I Kinda Sorta Hate…

  1. I WAS NOT OKAY WITH THAT ENDING in This Mortal Coil and I NEED the next book. This book gave me all the emotions and I just, I just need to read the next book as soon as I can!
    This is such a fun post 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Omg I love this post 😂 Leigh can NEVER, EVER BE FORGIVEN. I still can’t think about Crooked Kingdom without wanting to curl into a ball and sob. And of course she just had to make _______’s death so damn poetic that you can’t even really hate her. Also I keep hearing a ton about This Mortal Coil, the premise didn’t grab me but maybe I need to take a chance on it 🤔

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Right? [redacted]’s death segues for her other books, but I can’t help but really really hate her for it grrrr

      This Mortal Coil is a lot of exploding bodies that turn into a giant plume of bloody vapor (see cover) and bunches of really great action scenes and sciencey stuff that seems believable! I thought it was very cool, definitely worth a second look!

      Liked by 1 person

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